One of Those Days!!

Today i woke up with a lot on my mind.School assignments to hand in, projects with deadlines, friendships gone bad,relationships gone bad and the fact that my ex's move on before me doesn't help.I just couldn't put my finger on what really bothered me most till now.let me take you back a bit,as i was growing up i had dreams of changing the world.i told myself that i could stop the violence and the wars and feed the hungry or at least try.i believed that people were good out there and they just needed guidance till i met a friend of mine who taught me that the world was cruel and survival was for the fittest.She told me that if i went on trusting every one i called a friend, sympathised with all who seemed genuine and gave out my heart to every guy who said the three words with eight letters i was doomed.i have depended a lot on other people.i genuinely cared,loved and trusted with the hope that they would automatically feel the same and reciprocate these feelings and we would all be happy.i realise now that i have been so wrong.i have been clinging on people a lot for my own happiness.i wanted to be loved by all and fit in different lifestyles.i shared my life with everyone and they later used it against me but i never learnt,i just couldn't shut up.i have hated those who have left like they owed me and fought to keep some so i can be happy but in the end am still un happy.i know now that i have got to step up and take control of my own life and happiness. Happiness comes from within and not our surrounding.i have made a choice to grow up and love myself.am going to stop trying to please everyone and play superhero.i am going to learn to spend time with me. I realise i don't need people and not everyone has yo best interests at heart. I will talk less to people and more to God.I still want to help the hungry kids and poor but now its clear that i can't change the real world but only very few people's worlds.i can change a little child's world by feeding them and the world will still be cruel.Facts of Life!